The emotional toll of not having a home

In 2022, a German journalist reached out to us, curious about our lives as full-time petsitters. She was especially interested in the human aspect and what it feels like not having a home. We had a great chat, and she planned to get back to us after pitching the idea to the channel she worked for (ARTE). We never heard from her again… but the conversation stuck with me.

We’ve been on the road for 4 1/2 years now, full-time petsitting across Europe, Southeast Asia, and Australia. For the first three years, I didn’t miss having a home at all. Everything felt like an adventure—staying in beautiful houses in places we could never afford was an incredible experience. It still is, but lately, we’ve been thinking… maybe it would be nice to have a place to call our own again.

While our lifestyle looks like an absolute dream, it’s not always easy, and it’s definitely not for everyone. A lot of people tell us: “Wow, I’d love to do what you’re doing, but I couldn’t.” Those are the people that get it.

For the past 41/2 years, we’ve changed houses like underwear (well, sort of); we’ve moved to new cities, countries and even continents. Yes, being a digital nomad has a lot of perks—not in the least freedom and adventure—but not having a permanent home comes with its own set of challenges.

You see, a home isn’t just a place where you sleep; it’s a personal sanctuary, a safe haven where you can unwind and make the place your own. As a full-time petsitter you don’t have a space like that. Your temporary home is in fact somebody else’s home, with their memories, their style, and their comforts. Nowhere truly feels like yours. You might have a favourite couch or view, but you know that you’ll have to give these things up again in a few weeks or months.

When you have a home, you can return to it at the end of the day and switch off from the outside world. When you’re full-time petsitting, there’s no ‘switch off’-button. Organizing your life becomes a full-time job; you’re always planning, booking and organizing.  The mental charge is always there.

Of course we have time off, you’ve seen the pictures. We’re always exploring new places, but all this exploring requires planning too: we need to balance it with our pet-sitting commitments and online work. Then there’s FOMO, cause surely you don’t want to miss out on anything

A home is more than just a place; it’s also about the people. When you’re always on the move, relationships tend to remain superficial. As full-time petsitters, we feel as if we are ‘parachuted’ into people’s lives and ‘catapulted’ out of it once the sit is over. Before and during the sit, we build a strong connection with the home owners, but it’s a connection that often ceases to exist after the sit, no matter how positive the experience was. Don’t get me wrong, we do remain in contact with quite a few home owners and we occasionally do repeat sits, but while you may meet wonderful people along the way, there’s often not enough time to truly connect, share experiences, and build the deep trust that long-term friendships require.

This is why we love connecting with other petsitters along the way. To share experiences and, I guess, to feel a sense of normality. Cause no, it isn’t ‘normal’ what we do. The proof of that becomes very obvious once we talk to family or lifelong friends. While most of them are supportive of our lifestyle, it is difficult to truly convey what it’s all about.

Being away from a stable community also means missing out on life’s little (and big) moments—family gatherings, birthdays, and spontaneous meetups with old friends. While technology helps bridge the gap, video calls and messages can never replace real physical connections.

So, we tend to find a connection wherever we are, with fellow housesitters, with expats living in the area, with the waitress at the local tapas bar or the local hairdresser —these small everyday interactions somehow create a feeling of stability and belonging.

While the nomadic lifestyle offers adventure and excitement, the constant change can also be mentally and emotionally exhausting. Unlike having a stable home where routines, familiarity, and security bring comfort, with full-time petsitting must continuously adapt to new environments.

Having a home means having a rhythm to your days—you take the bus, you go to work and you come home to dinner and TV. And while this still feels like a horror scenario to me, these small, everyday rituals create a sense of stability, which is often missing when you’re always on the move. As a traveller, your schedule depends on new surroundings, new pets, different expectations, and changing accommodations. Simple routines like where to grocery shop, or how to commute can become unpredictable and draining, making it harder to feel settled.

Familiarity brings ease. When you live in one place, you know how to navigate public transport, you know what day the bins go out and who to call when the wifi’s not working.  As a full-time petsitter, each new location requires research and adjustment—finding a decent grocery store, learning a new city layout, and figuring out basic services. These seemingly small tasks add up and can become mentally draining over time, especially when they need to be repeated every few weeks or months.

While new experiences are exciting, never feeling truly ‘at home’ can be emotionally draining. The effort it takes to repeatedly start over—both practically and emotionally—can lead to burnout, making the nomadic lifestyle more challenging than it may appear from the outside. Petsitting full-time can be incredibly rewarding, but the lack of routine, familiarity, and stability presents real challenges. Over time, the constant adjustments can take a toll, making it harder to feel grounded and truly at ease. The question many petsitters eventually face is: Does the excitement still outweigh the need for a home? So far, I’m happy to say, it still does!

(Interested in becoming a full-time petsitter too? Join Trusted Housesitters to get started)